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INKYTEXT 350 Part II
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Issue No 350 THE END (Part II) Monday 8th May 2000
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Editorial correspondence should be sent to InkyText@lancaster.ac.uk
Subscription requests to Inkytext-distribution-request@lists.lancs.ac.uk
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A number of important letters arrived in connection with Part I of
this issue. Exceptionally there will therefore be a third part.
As a loyalty bonus subscribers will thereafter receive a 'Best
of Inkytext" anthology, also prolly in 2 parts. This is, as the BBC
says, a chance to enjoy again things you may have missed first time
round.
PART II
Minutes, Amendments and Matters arising
Late News
Late Ads (no more PLEASE!)
5. Readers' Letters: Bob Chaplin, Ken Pennington, Louis Barfe, Stella Birchall
Sarah Carpenter, Keith Jones, Rebecca Leam, Jessica Abrahams at the Savoy.
Kev Buckley.
PART III will contain
Further late news
6 Further Letters: Bob Bliss, Tom Barney, Steve Pumfrey, Dave Boyle, Martje
Graham, Lindsay Newman, Nick Bardsley, Kev Buckley, John Halstead, Mike
Jackson, Anon, Angela Cunningham.
7. Memoirs of an E-zine Editor: (Concluded)
MINUTES, AMENDMENTS MATTERS ARISING
-----------------------------------
Usual crop of typos not proof-read - blame it on short-staffing
and screen hypnotism.
For 'ration' read ' 'ratio'
For 'techicians' read 'technicians'
For 'Antartic' read 'Antarctic'
For 'Antartica' read 'Antarctica'
etc.
The garbled sentence in the editorial should read 'pre-prepared
issues ("Here's one I made earlier....")'
Numerous phonetic keyboarding slips as usual that one wouldn't make
in handwriting or typing to a page. Bizarre phenomenon. Sorry.
MBAs in Management School: Alan Bolton was until a few years ago the
only MBA in the management school. There are however currently at least
SEVEN in the Management Development division plus Gary Xu Mark
Shackleton in Accounting and Finance.
The ILOVEYOU virus in fact arrrived from the addresses of people known
to recipients and only affected Windows machines. Many thanks to Norman
Paterson for being quick off the mark in blocking it at campus
mailhubs. See Kev Buckley's letter on the "Satan from Seattle".
Readers are again reminded NOT to send or foward their own virus
warnings. See the anti-virus page.
28th of April was a Friday.
LATE NEWS
---------
CONGRATULATIONS TO PROF WHITTON (European Languages) on becoming new
dean of Arts and Humanities in succession to Dr Henig.
CONGRATULATIONS TO GEORGE GREEN (Independent Studies) and Adrienne
Cutner (DCE) who were recently married.
BEST WISHES TO PROF GIBSON BURRELL (Warwick, formerly of BinO) whose
wedding on Friday was attended by a number of his former colleagues in
the Management School.
CONGRATULATIONS TO LANCASTER sports-persons on winning the Roses
Match, a competition that seems to go with the home side. Perfect
conditions.
SPECIAL THANKS TO OUTDOOR CLEANERS Andrew, Raymond, Kenneth et al.,
who have an enormous task to perform each of these fine mornings
clearing the extraordinary and disgusting tide of cans and other
detritus from Alexandra Square steps. (What happened to the bins the
TEP money was providing?)
THE SERVICE OF COMMEMORATION for Mrs Martha Gordon will take place in
the Chaplaincy Centre at 1.00 pm on Friday 26th May.
THE DRAFT REPORT OF THE ACADEMIC AUDITORS states inter alia: "In
addition to these printed and broadcast media, the University's
internal administration produces an electroni bulletin, _Vickytext_,
while there is a tolerated privately-produced subscriber net
functioning under the university's electronic auspices called
_Inkytext_. The team noted anecdotal evidence of the latter's
popularity and influence, and generally gained the view that
dissemination of proceedings of the Senate was particularly
successful."
[NOTE: Good grief! That tone! This alters not one jot, indeed amply
confirms, my opinions on the practice of academic auditing and
auditors. General opinion seems to be that the draft report is
mercifully favourable. (Ed)]
WIDESPREAD SENATE SUPPORT for the Editor's candidature for Council. He
has been asked for his "platform". He undertakes to circulate to
Senators an account of interventions made on their behalf at meetings
of the Council. He will also try to ensure that officers in attendance
intervene only when specifically asked for professional advice and do
not dominate proceedings, and more generally to encourage orthodoxy in
the conduct of meetings.
PRO-VC DAVIES comes up for re-election this summer but is not thought
likely to be opposed. He met with the University Secretary on Friday to
discuss the news vacuum that will be created by the passing of this
journal.
Late Ads
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FLAT FOR SALE: Buoymasters, St George's Quay, Lancaster. 3 rooms plus
kitchen, bath quiet, garden/small patio 5 mins. rail, bus, Sainsburys
available from 1 July furniture if wanted about 55,000. To view: 383095
Inquiries: email: isiro@history.ihst.ru or phone/fax: +007 095 246 66 24
-------
FOR SALE J Reg. Ford Fiesta Flight Excellent condition; low mileage
Tax July 00; MOT Aug 00. 2,800 Tel: 594095 or 01524 771061
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5. READERS' LETTERS
-------------------
Bob, Sarah, Heidi & families would like to say thank you to the many
friends who have sent cards, letters and messages to wish us well and
to express their sadness at everyone's loss. For myself, I feel that
every word and thought has helped and generally we feel able, now, to
be positive about the future in a way I am sure Davina would like.
She changed roles countless times as many will know - Mum / Peter Pan
/ Lecturer / Gardener / Producer. I am sure she would join with me in
wishing the Editor of this journal success and maybe some fun in his
next role.
Bob Chaplin
Engineering
-------------------------
All the profits initially built up by MARDIS over previous years were
no longer available with the advent of Prophecy. Can you imagine any
other commercial company making a net profit and not being able to
retain it for future investment and having to start the next financial
year with a zero balance?
These conditions not only made trading difficult, but made cohesive
R&D almost impossible. The two designers, Rob Zloch and Neil Parry, had
my great admiration for the way they hung in to complete the
development of a new and unique speech communication aid (the Eclipse).
In the first six years of trading, MARDIS generated sales of 1.601
million and net profits of 195K, a six year average of 12% return; most
commercial companies would be delirious with that. If you discount the
levy charges against MARDIS you are looking at an additional profit of
60K, giving a six year average of 16% return. Where did it go?
At the end of this period my position as MD was terminated. Perhaps
I was being a pain to someone. Although no longer MD I still gave my full
support to MARDIS as a board member. During this period MARDIS lost
the Speech and Language therapist, who was one of the main links between
the company and the special needs community.
It seemed ironic that the two designers had completed a working
version of the new communication aid by we no longer had a therapist to
introduce it to the disabled. The company was being driven by people
who simply did not understand teh special relationships that are vital
to success within the special needs community.
The next two years showed losses for the very first time since 1989.
Towards the end of this period the two designers put forward a
maagement buy-out proposal. The bid was rejected by the university and
the board brought in a technical consultant to assess the new product
with a view to realising its potential.
The Eclipse was a brand new concept in portable speech communication
aids. It was the only communication aid in the world that had a talking
menu. It had a high-quality digitized voice and the talking menu could
be programmed to speak in any language. Its talking menu and symbolic
or text keyboard could be accessed by tough or by switches and light
scanning devices attached to the disabled user. Its keyboard was
programmable to as low a level as two words up to a very powerful
multi-layered speech vocabulary of some 14000 words.
It fully complied with all the EEC directives and the UK Medical
Device Directives. In fact it was the only communication aid that did.
We were at least two years ahead of any other company. The
opportunities that this presented were never taken advantage of.
In 1998 I was serving as Chairman of the National Committee of
Communication Aid Suppliers and was shocked to learn that MARDIS had
not tendered as a supplier to the NHS Supplies Directorate. I informed
the university and offered to do damage limitation on their behalf with
the NHS (April 1999). The University agree but it was not until August
'99 that Hilary Holt and myself met with the director of the NHS
Supplies directorate. Unfortunately a lot of water had flowed under the
bridge by then and we were informed that MARDIS would not be appended
to the list of approved suppliers.
The disabled community will not easily forget or forgive the
University. It is a stain that will not easily wash off.
Ken Pennington
St Just
------------------------
I see that a letter in 349 Pt II concerned the Private Eye report of
my encounter with Peter O'Toole and my ensuing brave anti-Tube
privatisation sit-in. I will, of course, be consulting Sue, Grabbit and
Runne, with a view to serving the Eye with a writ. The story's true in
every detail, but that never stopped Cap'n Bob.
On an Eye-related front, Richard Ingrams has commissioned me to do a
couple of things for the Oldie, the first of which is in the current
issue. Don't go,
Louis Barfe
----------------------
Having been intrigued, infuriated and enjoyed so many of the items in
InkyText over the last few years, yet never having put a contributing
finger to keyboard, I felt I could not let the final issue go past
without grabbing the opportunity to do so.
Paying a nostalgic visit to Lancaster with some friends a couple of
weeks ago, we all noted the changes that have come about since we
graduated (and InkyText was born) in summer 1993. New accommodation,
Tower Avenue, the library extension, the Ruskin library - the list
could go on. Yet actually more things had remained the same - Furness
bar (although sadly bereft of the launderette painting) and JCR, the
peacocks, Robinsons, Birketts cheese and onion pasties, Seabrook
crisps, sabbatical election posters. We enjoyed a traditional Saturday
night out - Fylde bar, bus, vodka, food, vodka, Sugar House, bus,
vodka, chocolate, bed.
It was comforting, but strangely upsetting, to note that the
University had survived quite happily without us. It would have been
nice to walk into Furness bar and for people to nudge each other in
recognition of distinguished alumni, but as most of the students were
just 11 years old when we graduated that was never going to be a
reality. Thinking about it though, we've survived quite happily for the
last seven years without Lancaster, applying what we learnt there to
the rest of the world.
The point of this piece of self indulgence is to pass comment on the
passing of InkyText. Things will go on without InkyText (as they go on
without me and my friends) - Council and Senate and all associated
committees will still meet, league tables will still be published, good
places to eat will still be recommended, Louis Barfe and Nick Bardsley
will still be writing something somewhere. But this does not mean that
InkyText will be forgotten, for it has reminded us to continually
question those in authority and to not accept passively what we are
told. Although it will no longer appear enticingly on our screens, like
an irregular electronic cult soap, we can still all InkyThink,
occasionally InkySpeak, and certainly InkyDrink.
InkyText. Goon but not forgotten.
Sarah Carpenter
LUSU president 93-94
(now residing in Tunbridge Wells and a full time officer for the MSF union)
---------------------------
I was reminded by the combination of the Paris trip and the Louis
Barfe anecdotes of my mother's visit to London in 1993 - one evening I
took her to dinner and the ballet.
The restaurant was "a secret" but remembering the Ritz incident I wore
decent shoes. When I steered her off the Strand into that little cul de
sac that leads to the Savoy she began to gasp and say I can't go in
there, but I pressed on (she's only 5ft 1in tall so I can bully her
from time to time) and we shared a salad and plate of cheese, all I
could afford, in the fish bar but we did get to squint at the dining
room and just using the ladies' cloakroom was wonderful. The staff were
really nice to us, paupers that we obviously were - so shoes count more
than cash.
At the ROH the celebrated Paris ballerina from Paris who had recently
defected to the Royal Ballet, Sylvie Guillem, was dancing the lead in
La Bayadere and the place was heaving. During the interval an elderly
lady stood on my foot as I was trying to get drinks in the undignified
crush. She didn't bother to apologise and I grumbled under my breath
but my mother, who had collected all the "Baron at the Ballet"
photographic books that went with being a keen dancer in the 40's and
50's, poked me in the ribs and hissed "That's Dame Ninette de Valois!"
She was right, too - before the next act it was announced that it was
Dame Ninette's 90th birthday that day, and she appeared on a balcony
and graciously received a tribute and an enthusiatic ovation.
My mother was as excited as only a colonial can be, when confronted by
the realisation that the long-cherished idols of their youth do
actually exist in flesh and blood - as my foot in its smart shoe was
only too painfully aware.
Jessica Abrahams
-----------------------
It's too late to get this in but I am still going to take you to task.
You, like the BBC in their reports sadly, are now staring to propagate
the idea that "Windows computers" means "all computers".
It doesn't. Calling it a "computer" virus tars everyone with the same
brush, rather than pointing out the flaws in Uncle Bill's systems.
"All campus users" dont have to eradicate it, only those using Satan
in Seattle's software.
Shame on you ! A died in the wool plain-text man as well.
Kevin M. Buckley
[NOTE: Thanks, Kev. True, true, true. But, as Voltaire said, God still
seems to be on the side of the big battalions. (Ed)]
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Canute, fed up of the fawning of his courtiers, set up a chair by the
sea and when the tide began to come in and wash round his toes said to
them (and I paraphrase) - 'Look you lot, I am just this guy, you know.
I can't even stop this little bit of sea water coming in.' Thus
persuading them (hopefully) that he was just an ordinary chap like them
who just happened to be king.
Being Canute-like is perhaps not quite what you meant...?
Stella Birchall
PS Thanks to Holinshed for the above info.
PPS I will miss you. But then with the(se) extra one(s) (349 Part 2,
3, 4 ....???), The Best of Inkytext, Inkytext-The Sequel, Inkytext-The
Prequel, Inkytext's Way, Inkytext Regained and of course, Inkytext
Again, Inkytext The Early Years, Inkytext-A Concordance, The Annotated
Inkytext, Why Aren't There More Great Women Mentioned on Inkytext (due
to be published March 2000), Inkytext-A Beginner's Guide, Inkytext and
the ARP, Channel 4 's Inkytext Night - and then, on Exchange Gold, the
re-runs, perhaps I won't have to do without it at all!
-----------------------------
Thank you for your kind words about the Alumni website news - I shall
definitely try to keep up the good work - though it will never
compensate for the loss of Inkytext. Would an Alumni appeal make it
stay?!
To tell you the truth I use Inkytext as my main source of news. What
will I do? Perhaps you could give me tip off's in exchange for a
coffee in The Venue!
Rebecca Leam
-----------------------
You were correct in Inkytext, as always. It was hard! The weather was
great and I enjoyed the first 20 miles. My running vest had Keith
written across the front and this meant I got very vocal support. I
suffered badly between 22 and 25 miles, but then got going again for a
grand(ish) finish. The time, 4h, 29m and 17s, was about half an hour
longer than I had hoped and is 50 minutes longer than my first marathon
in 1986. It is possible that my body is telling me something! The
official time was 12 minutes longer than this as it took this time to
reach the start. The total amount of sponsorship is around £1200 which
I know will be much appreciated by Water Aid. Thank you for your support,
Keith Jones
-------------------
You'll love this one. Joke: Tony Blair is being shown around a
hospital. Towards the end of his visit, he is shown into a ward with a
number of people with no obvious signs of injury.
He introduces himself to the first and the chap replies:
"FAIR fa' your honest sonsie face,
Great chieftain e' the puddin'.race!
Tony, somewhat confused goes to the next patient and asks what's the
matter with him. The patient replies:
"Some hae meat, and canna eat,
And some wad eat that want it,
Apprhensive by this time the PM gently approaches a third patient who
says to him:
"Wee sleekit, cow'rin, tim'rous beastie,
O, what a panic's in thy breastie!
Tony turns to the doctor accompanying him and asks, "What sort of ward is
this? A psychiatric ward?"
"No," replies the doctor, "It's the Burns Unit."
--------------------------------
Hello and thanks from a young grad, who never really understood all
that finance stuff, who never heard of half of the people you wrote
about, who never read Proust and probably won't. I will miss reading
InkyText.
Anon
intl_support@openmarket.com
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THE NEXT PART REALLY IS THE LAST