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INKYTEXT 331
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Issue No 331 Friday 4th February 2000
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Editorial correspondence should be sent to InkyText@lancaster.ac.uk
Subscription requests to Inkytext-distribution-request@lists.lancs.ac.uk
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TODAY'S INKYTEXT READERS' PARTY
at 5.00 pm in County Lounge (next to the bar)
is the second of its kind.
The first, to which all then readers were invited,
took place in 1993 in the University Secretary's office.
The doors had to be removed from the hinges for the occasion
to accommodate the throng.
AGENDA
Minutes and Matters Arising
1. News: Vigil, Court, Dates, Estates, UNIAC, Merlewood, Nostalgia.
2. Paris Itinerary (IV):Seventh half-day - St Germain des Pres
5. Readers' Letters: Ruskin and Burns, Pronouns and antecedents,
Virgin rail fares, Beckham's Thong, Shortness and discrimination,
French students, Effectiveness of advertising.
6. Small Ads: Hosts wanted, Au Pair, French student, Book Vouchers,
Citroen Xsara, Books and CDs.
MINUTES AND MATTERS ARISING
---------------------------
Toady would have been Francesca Gibson's 40th birthday.
The problematic case of Mrs Beckham's thong was lengthily taken up by
ex-Lancastrian Sue Bassnett, pro-VC at Warwick, in her column in
Thursday's Independent.
Time Regained opens today in the Everyman, Shaftesbury Avenue, and in
Bradford, Chichester, Coventry, Norwich and Oxford.
1. NEWS
-------
VIGIL TO REMEMBER STUDENT: There will be a Vigil in the Anglican/Free
Church Chapel, Chaplaincy Centre at 1.15-1.45pm on Friday 4th February
to remember "KJ" Janakka. There will also be a book of remembrance
for people to sign.
THE ANNUAL MEETING OF THE UNIVERSITY COURT takes place tomorrow.
Top-table members have been devising strategies (good eh?) to cope with
possible embarrassing questions on the Nurse-led unit, Chemistry,
funding gap, building plans etc. Deputy Pro-Chancellor Martin, who
chairs the event, put out a plea for attendance yesterday. Prolly in
vain alas. Nick Bardsley will speak to his motion.
LAST WEEK'S UMAG DECIDED that in the light of possible retirements and
contract changes of staff in the Department of Philosophy, and growing
synergies between the work of members of the Department and the Centre
for the Study of Environmental Change, Senate should be asked to
approve development of a proposal to bring Philosophy and CSEC together
for the purposes of teaching and research, including appraisal of the
financial benefits that could ensue.
INTERVIEWS FOR THE POST OF ESTATES DIRECTOR: These took place last
week after a day of presentations. Two persons were interviewed and
both thought appointable. One has been offered the job. No further
news.
INTERNAL AUDIT: UMAG decided that expenditure on internal audit be
capped at £60k pa. UNIAC is not interested in tendering for job again.
Suspicions that there may be tensions between the Audit Committee and
Uniac staff. Tenders are invited for provision of internal audit
services after the current contract with UNIAC expires.
TUESDAY, 02-02-2000 WAS THE FIRST DATE for 1112 years not to have an
odd digit in it. It is being followed by 04, 06, 08, etc...prompting
Mike Pacey to comment: "Just like buses, really. Nothing for 1112
years, then a whole load of them."
PREPARATIONS FOR TODAY'S PAN-GLOBAL READERS' PARTY are in place. The
guest of honour, a former dean of County, phoned in from Brussels
airport this morning. It prompts memories of the last one, in July
1993, to mark the forced departure of the University Secretary, Mr
George Cockburn. Was it a coincidence that the VC arranged a retirement
party for Professor Fairbairn at exactly the same time? This was a
matter of regret for Professor Fairbairn and all else who attended it
since they clearly wanted to be down on C-floor, and indeed shuttled
between the two.
On that occasion the apparently unlimited wines and bottled beers were
provided by the university with dire effects. Today's refreshments are
the fruit of the editor's enforced hospitalization and place a strong
emphasis on soft drinks (apple, orange and cranberry juice, Malvern
water, Clausthaler non-alcoholic lager) and amuse-gueules (olives,
roast and salt peanuts, Pringles, Twiglets, Nik-Naks, cheese biscuits,
toasts, etc.) There are also 5 dozen small French lagers (4%) and a
litre or two of Liebfraumilch. Music selected by Ralph Steadman, also
Haydn. Conversation by you. NO SPEECHES.
NERC OFFER BETTER THAN EXPECTED: At its meeting on 27th January, NERC
Council approved the allocation of 6.8 million to allow development of
accommodation and facilities for ITE on the Lancaster campus subject to
a review of the financial case, taking into account the science
synergies and benefits. It is anticipated that this process will be
completed by the end of February, during which time we will press ahead
with the development of more detailed plans for the buildings and with
discussions with the University.
2. PARIS ITINERARY FOR STUART AND JOAN RILEY: SEVENTH HALF DAY
--------------------------------------------------------------
Once refreshed, I suggest you go down 50 metres to rejoin the Boul
Mich and turn left. Still uphill I'm afraid and a bit touristy here. Go
up past the rue Cujas and the rue Champollion and you'll see the gates
of the Luxembourg Gardens over the road on your right and a handy
McDonalds on your left.
Look ahead at the rue Gay-Lussac, Luxembourg station and the traffic
lights. I saw Francoise Dorleac (memo to Mr Orr - Catherine Deneuve's
sister) demolishing them on 12 May 1968, to add to the massive
barricade of cars and fallen trees that blocked the boulevard. Later
that night, trapped between a burning barricade and armies of anonymous
armed troops on the rampage with batons and rifle butts, I discovered
fear.
Turn the corner into the rue Soufflot and you'll see the Pantheon
ahead of you. The Pantheon was originally going to be the church of Ste
Genevieve, patron of Paris, but the revolution intervened and it became
a Pantheon, housing the earthly remains of the very great in the crypt.
Mirabeau, Marat, Voltaire and Rousseau, plus Victor Hugo, Zola and the
Curies, and Jean Jaures of course, they're all there, plus Jean Moulin
the resistance hero. About 61 in all when I last counted. Rather a
shortage of right-wingers, someone remarked.
Go round behind it on the right and follow the rue de l'Estrapade
alongside the Lycee Henri IV. Excellent municipal swimming pool with
views out on to the Pantheon but only really accessible during the
school holidays. Carry on to the end of the street till you come out on
to the Rue Mouffetard. Downhill from here.
Fewer tourists perhaps, except for cognoscenti like yourselves. This
is the authentic heart of the Latin Quarter, with student-priced cafes
and bars selling strong Belgian beers. You might want to sit on the
picturesque place de la Contrescarpe and have one. Or why not have
lunch? Loads of cheapish exotic restaurants - but do try to avoid the
Greek ones.
The rue Mouffetard is home to one of Paris's many street markets,
where you can enjoy the profusion of healthy-looking fruit and
vegetables, the luscious cheeses, and the amazing dried-pork sausages
that make France so irresistible. And have you bought yourself a
patisserie yet? Don't have them in a tea-room: buy four and carry them
back to your hotel.
On down to Saint-Medard then cross to the Metro Censier-Daubenton. You
can catch line 5 here and get a train (Direction La Courneuve) up to
Sully-Morland or Pont-Marie, then stroll back through the Marais to
your hotel. No, tell you what, take it a couple of stops in the
opposite direction to Place d'Italie, and there you can get the raised
metro line (Direction Bobigny) to Bastille. Good views of re-building in
the 13th, the new Min of Finance and the Stade Omnisports at Bercy
(Indoor Arena).
SEVENTH HALF-DAY
----------------
Your last day and you still haven't begun to see more than a fraction
of all I'd like to show you. To plan your return get a free copy of
France-USA, one of the English freebies good for finding flat lets and
accommodation. Where to now?
You haven't time to go to Versailles or Fontainebleau, and for them
it's best to wait till the weather improves. You've still not done the
Champs-Elysees, to view the presidential palace and the British Embassy
next door, to admire the Arc de Triomphe and see the Grande Arche de la
Defense in the distance. Nor have you seen the Forum des Halles, the
vast multi-level underground shopping complex near the Pompidou, with
its own cinemas, museums, gardens and swimming pool. And I see you keep
glancing up longingly at the Sacre Coeur and dreaming of those
accordeons and artists on the Place du Tertre of the Butte Montmartre.
Nor have you sat in a really grand street, say the Avenue Montaigne or
George-V, just people-watching as they visit the great couturiers. You
haven't been to the Invalides in the shadow of the Eiffel Tower, with
the Musee Rodin next door, the cultural safe alternative to Viagra. And
goodness! You've still to walk through the Tuileries and visit the Jeu
de Paume and the Orangerie then cross the footbridge to the Musee
d'Orsay, the gallery specialising in the period 1850 - 1900 which
houses most of the famous paintings some folk have ever heard of.
Nor have you been up to Montparnasse and the only skyscraper (ugh!),
the Tour Maine-Montparnasse, where you might have liked to dine on the
41st floor or just admire the view. Not been down in the sewers or seen
the canal, not visited a single cemetery (marvellous places all of
them) let alone Pere-Lachaise itself.
Where am I going to take you? No problem. My essential Paris is the
5th and 6th. You've sampled the Quartier (5th) - now for the 6th, St
Germain des Pres. So back to the metro St Michel again, or the bus stop
at the foot of the boulevard, but this time stay on the right hand side
and strike off obliquely by the fountain and along the rue St Andre des
Arts. Broke my pipe in a sit-down protest here. It was in the back
pocket of my jeans and I was chatting with a Peruvian doing Barthes'
course.
Hard to realise that before Haussmann created the modern boulevards,
absurdly wide, people said, in the 1850s this was the main thoroughfare
on the left bank. It's as wide as Sun St and as sinuous as Green Lane.
Rather more animated though. Ah, the tales I could tell.... Do you see
the rue Git-le-Coeur as you pass? At the bottom there's the Hotel du
Vieux Paris... gone wildly up market since I last dossed there...
Carry on along until you come to the rue de l'Ancienne Comedie, cross
and continue along the rue de Buci until it curves round and you come
out on to the boulevard. Carry on west along a hundred yards or so and
you reach St Germain des Pres.
The church is worth a look. Excellent concerts here. Look up the long
rue de Rennes opposite and you'll see the tower. Europe's# first
drugstore opened here. I suggest you go over to the Deux Magots and sit
down (inside!) and half a coffee. It'll cost you, but you can feel like
Sartre and glance up towards his flat on the corner of the Place and
the rue Napoleon. Don't miss the plaque to Jefferson.
Now I'm going to take you some place few outsiders find. Go behind the
church on the right and you'll find the tiny place de Furstenberg...
ver calm and peaceful. Home to the Delacroix Museum in his own studio.
Go through the square and you come to the historic rue Jacob, home of
lots and lots of 'lived here' plaques. Go along it to the left and
rejoin the rue Napoleon then head down towards the river past all the
art dealers.
[NEXT TIME: Evening entertainment and final tips]
3. READERS' LETTERS
-------------------
Lingering flu denied me the pleasures of the Furness/Fylde Burns
Supper, as well as the chance to heckle (as well as to chuckle) at the
Editor's Toast.
Ruskin was proud of his Scottish ancestry - which even left him with a
Caledonian burr in his speech - and would not at all have minded being
linked with Burns, whose poetry he loved and often quoted in his books.
In his lively essay on Fiction, Fair and Foul, he commends three of his
favourite authors for their life-giving songs: 'Scott of the world,
Burns of the flesh, and Byron of the devil.'
As with his friendships with the Pre-Raphaelites, Ruskin clearly
admired and envied 'Robin's' instinctive life force, denied him by his
own (Scottish) Evangelical upbringing.
Nobody can do much about the circumstances of their birth, and the
jibe about the 'painful necessity of earning a living' is unworthy: how
many others of independent means produced so much as writer and artist,
and gave away so much, in money, books and pictures, to schools,
universities and museums?
Brantwood is not that large a house (the studio at the back was built
by his cousin's family) and Ruskin's way of life was remarkably modest.
Nor did he 'have to wait a hundred years for a monument'. The Ruskin
Museum at Coniston was opened soon after his death, as was Ruskin Hall
at Bournville, Birmingham (the national memorial to him); then there
were the Friar's Crag monument at Keswick (on the National Trust's
first piece of land), the Ruskin Galleries at Sheffield and Bembridge,
the Ruskin Drawing School (established with his own money, and still
going strong) and also at Oxford, Ruskin College, which has produced
luminaries such as John Prescott - well, he can't really be blamed for
that, can he? "A man's a man, for a' that."
Stephen Wildman
Ruskin Library
[NOTE: Crikey! I've done him an injustice. Didn't know he liked Burns
and mildly astonished. Forgive my knockabout slapstick act of
hyperbolic oversimplification. I did indeed know of the other
'monuments' you cite, each of them less "shrine" than our Library
however. I actually admire that building, unlike Mr Bardsley, but have
some doubts about its construction and functionality as an exhibition
space. (Ed.)]
-----------------------
All I wanted was a "c" with a cedilla, you can do it facilement avec
Adobe Pagemaker, sacre (I'm not even going to try an accent) Microsoft.
Toute rue au-dessus, that which I was you going to ask was: pourquoi
les etudiants pensent-ils que les Licencees sont un droit bunch de
thickies. I had an etudiant de Francais a l'universite de Lancaster
dans mon bar tonight qui voulait savoir ce que Les Lettres
Philosophiques (albeit en Anglais) etait doing dans un tel endroit.
Je dois dire at her, what is that which you read in the studies
French? Asterix, Le petit Nicolas, Terre des hommes? C'est not worthy
de Bugs Bunny, jamais mind Voltaire. "It's not my era", elle a repondu.
How l'enfer can you study French for tellement long temps without
studying the greatest writer in French (with frugal apologies to
Moliere).
This is a long way from the original point (whatever that was, and I
haven't even had a drink). N'importe qu'elle rue, if you're on Unix I
hope you'll get the link underneath and if you're on Exchange you
definitely will. It's a place I'm sure you've visited but if not...it's
nothing at all like here...
http://www.cynicalbastards.com/ubs/
I'll leave you with a quote, make of it what you will: "If I had been
a woman, I would have liked to have been Catherine Deneuve", Gerard
Depardieu, Paris Match, 1988
Dave Orr
Fylde Bar
----------------------------------------
Our first VC would surely be pleased that research is being directed
to current issues, e.g. the 'sportswear' of the Beckhams (InkyText
330). It has been suggested that MrB promised MrsB that the garment
would be worn in every Man. Utd. game in South America. When MrB was
suspended, was the garment therefore worn by a colleague not used to
such genital constriction, giving rise to two fatal back passes?
Michael Jackson (mike-de-hest@talk21.com)
[NOTE: Funny you should mention genital constriction. I have a theory
that the relative demographic decline of the French in the past century
is attributable to French males attachment to bikini-type slips as
underwear. They consider them flattering to the eye, which may be true
in some cases, but they are surely damaging to the testes. (Ed)]
--------------------------------------
You're a language specialist, and I'm a software engineer; so I'm
inclined generally to trust your judgement in such things.
However, according to "BUGS in writing; a guide to debugging your
prose", Lyn Dupre 1998 (Addison-Wesley), section 7 "Pronouns":
If the subject and the pronoun in a sentence match each other (in
case, number and gender), then the pronoun refers to the subject.
If they do not match, then you are couring trouble.
GOOD: Max admired the singer's dress; he had never seen so many
sequins.
So far, everything is fine; we are speaking of Max's experiences in
both portions of the sentence. However, consider the following:
BAD: The singer swished past Max to the stage; he was blinded
by the sparkles from the sequin-covered dress.
Here, *he* is the singer, rather than Max -- a meaning perhaps
divergent from the one that the writer intended to convey.
Looking again at Inkytext...
...I can't see Dawson mentioned as a subject, so whichever set of
heuristics we use (yours of Ms Dupre's) the only possible match for the
pronoun is Bardsley. I'm afraid I missed that on first reading.
I guess I'd misread "The opportunity to have the local MP on Council"
as an MP rather than an Opportunity.
Lyn Dupre goes on to cover the arrangement used in Inkytext:
The next two examples have the same grammatical problem; however, once
the singer is clearly identified as female, the male pronoun is free
to
denote Max. Thus, although the sentences are, strictly speaking,
incorrect,
most people would accept them because they are unambiguous. The third
example solves the problem correctly, by avoiding the pronoun for the
second actor. You should strive to use the third construction, simply
because writing correctly keeps you out of trouble.
BAD: The singer moved her lips close to Max's ear, and hit a
high E; he had never heard such a noise.
BAD: The singer brushed against Max as she passed him; he was
overwhelmed by her perfume.
GOOD: The lion moved his whiskers close to Lyn's nose; Lyn had
never experienced such a sensation.
Similarly, if the pronoun matches the subject of the previous
sentence,
then it denotes that subject.
GOOD: Gooch frisked down the stairs. He was euphoric.
We may not know what manner of creature Gooch is, but we have
information about his psychological state (and his gender).
I guess the key phrase above is "most people would accept them". As
yours is a community journal rather than an academic one, that which
most people would accept is probably best.
Steve Alexander
-------------------------------
I think that it is high time short people were made to stand on their
own two feet (although I must admit it can sometimes be a little hard
to tell whether or not they *really* are or not). After all short
people make up 50% of the population so they can hardly call themselves
a minority.
Admittedly short people are still discriminated against but it is
rather unjust to single them out for special attention whilst trying to
make our society a fairer and more equal environment. Take for example
the Library where stools are provided upon which short people may stand
in order to reach the top shelves. Who decided that such money should
be spent on short people when the equivalent amount is not spent on
tall people? This is obviously quite unjust. Fair enough, a short
person trying to reach the top shelf without a stool is likely to break
their neck whereas a tall person trying to get a book from the bottom
shelf will do nothing more than scuff their knees.
Surely, though, it's the short person's fault for climbing the shelves
on their own - if they were accompanied by another short person or,
even better, by a tall person they would not be in quite the same
danger. Of course, if we really feel we have to spend all this money
supporting our short friends then it ought to be balanced out by
spending an equivalent amount of money on prayer mats for all of the
tall staff and students in our midst - its only fair after all. So now
is definitely the time for us all to get together and end this obvious
discrimination and abolish the short person's safe elevation system.
On a more serious note (if the above wasn't obvious enough), I know
that no longer being a student means that I will have no vote in any
referendum to decide the future of the Women's Officer position, I do,
however, think that I (and there are probably many staff in the same
position) am sufficiently affected by the proposed changes to have the
right to comment on the matter. Over the years, both as a College tutor
and simply as a friend, I have helped a number of female students with
problems that would have been much tougher to face without the presence
in the SU of a women's officer and, no doubt, will be here doing the
same long after any changes have taken affect.
A few years ago I was having a late night deep-and-meaningful
conversation sat round the kitchen table with five female
undergraduates (all of whom have long since graduated) not one of which
could say that she had never been raped.
Mentioning this to a (male) friend on Friday night, his response was,
"Well, you don't know what they meant by rape do you?" Which in itself
is probably enough of a reason to keep a Women's Officer. Neither an
Academic Affairs Officer nor a Welfare Officer will be able to educate
or alter such attitudes.
Reuben Edwards
Communication Systems
----------------------------------
A word of warning to all travellers on Virgin Rail. Last weekend, I
went with a pal to Ghent to wish Charles V a happy 500th birthday [a
magnificent exhibition, by the way, now touring Europe: Bonn, Vienna
and Toledo]. Advance booking my ticket to London, I decided to come
back on the famous early morning bird (which I have often used in the
past) to squeeze both more time in Ghent and an extra night in London:
the 6:30 AM ex-Euston, which gets one here OT for a 10:00 tutorial
(slightly postponed).
This was done and the tickets awaited me at Castle Station in a
special envelope: all for 35.60. Had I done it earlier (with my
Disabled Card), it would have been even cheaper. Nice reservations, in
the smoker, front facing, etc. Incidentally both trains was perfectly
on time, this time: usually not the case.
However, when in the inspector turned up, he first told me the single
was 108 pounds, but that a three-day advance booked one was only
86.50 pounds, which with my Disabled Card would come to a cool 57.10. That,
on top of the 35.60 I had already paid is what it cost me to make my
class.
Now, when in my rail-rage attack ("get the police" I said at one
point), he and I examined the reservation card, they had booked me on
the 6:35 PM train. So I found I had few legs on which to stand and thus
paid up. It was not, afterall, the ticket inspector's fault.
Private Eye last issue told a Dr. B. Ching tale that ticket sellers at
Virgin stations have been specifically ordered NOT to inform passengers
booking single tickets that the return fare is usually much cheaper
than the single and that members of staff violating this instruction
will be reprimanded.
So: in future, badger the staff when you get your tickets to insure that
everything is in order. Or drive: much cheaper.
Marcus Merriman
-----------------------------
On the subject of Poems for Ruskin - I did once refer to him in a
highly irreverent piece of doggerel written for the amusement of my
fellow junior administrators in Uni House. Suffice to say I was rather
pleased with myself for rhyming "Gothic style" with "Victorian
paedophile"........!
Am being grilled by continuation auditors this afternoon so I'd better
stop here and gather my thoughts...
Helena Thorley
-----------------------------
I had always thought the title North West Development Agency was an
apt qdescription of its role. Thus it seemed odd to read in InkyText
330(II) that it is buying research from HEDC on Key Skills in
education. Are qthere still particular key skills - like knotting split
cotton - that are unique to the north west? Or is buying such research
simply a way of funding north west universities? If the latter,
wouldn't more direct value be obtained from action research on how to
de-pollute the gas works site or overcome behavioural problems on
dense housing estates?
Michael Jackson (mike-de-hest@talk21.com)
---------------------------------------
I'd like to second the praise for Inkytext's usefulness, my cry for
help for a Psion 3a was actioned within an hour of the issue being
received.!!! Thank you for this medium.... saved me from lots of
hassle.
4. SMALL ADS
------------
FRENCH STUDENT, 18, Charles de Gaulle prize-winner, wishes
accommodation with a family for two weeks in July. Details from
youngsiobhan@hotmail.com
---------
SUN, TIMES BOOK VOUCHERS WANTED: Bowland bar is collecting them on
behalf of West End Primary School, Morecambe.
----------
FOR SALE: Citroen Xsara 1.4 X. Feb 1998 'R'. 5 door hatch. White.
24000 miles. One owner from new. Full Citroen service history. ?5600
ono. Ext 93780 or 01524 841365 or sawyer@comp.lancs.ac.uk.
------------
ARE YOU INTERESTED IN HOSTING ITALIAN STUDENTS for two / three weeks
in July? They are looking for accommodation while they do an English
language course at St. Martin's. They are aged 15 - 17 and would live
as part of your family. Expenses will be paid to cover their board.
For more information please contact Ruth Everitt on 01524 388308.
--------------
I have a number of books for sale, except where noted, all are
hardback and new, as in unread, and around, or less than, half price.
Folio Society edition of The Greek Myths (2vol) 20.00
Cambridge Guide to Literature in English 15.00
Oxford Dictionary of New Words (paperback) 3.00
The Tories by Alan Clark 10.00
Chambers Biographical Dictionary (2ndHand) 10.00
also
2 CDs, containing Brandenburg Concertos 1-6
(NEW: still in the cellophane, yours for just 10 pounds)
Benjamin Britten and the ECO
Issued in the Decca/Phillips/Deutsche Gramophon/Penguin Classics series
CD1 has concertos 1-4,
CD2 has concertos 5&6 and a Violin Concerto in A minor
Kevin M. Buckley e-mail: K.Buckley@lancaster.ac.uk
-------------------
AU PAIR POSITION WANTED: Young law student from St Petersburg seeks au
pair work with a family in or around Lancaster, July-August 2000. She
wants to improve her English so wishes to work with children who are
old enough to speak. For details please ring 015242 41291.
---------------
MORE ON FINANCE AND MERLEWOOD NEXT TIME