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INKYTEXT 318
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KEN FOR MAYOR OF LONDON
Issue No 318 Friday 19 November 1999
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Editorial correspondence should be sent to InkyText@lancaster.ac.uk
Subscription requests to Inkytext-distribution-request@lists.lancs.ac.uk
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MENU
Minutes, Amendments, Matters arising
1. Editorial: At last a credible league-table
2. News: Job moves, Retirement, Hallal restaurant, Chemistry, SCAN, Cartmel
complaint, Philip Stamp, Public Arts, Fatherhood, AUT, etc.
3. Readers' Letters: Best bit as usual.
4. Guest Contribution: Mr McGregor's Diary
5. Small Ads: anything and everything.
[NOTE: Apologies for the silence and to advertisers whose events have
elapsed. Advertisers are again reminded of the EXCELLENT ads folder on
the internal mail system. A supplement with even more news, letters and
ads follows shortly.]
MINUTES, AMENDMENTS, MATTERS ARISING
------------------------------------
Some comment on the University representation at the funeral of James
Raw.
The licence for The Venue was granted without opposition.
The joint committee of the research councils met yesterday to finalize
decisions on JIF bids. Intense suspense in IENS and computing circles
plus University House. Much hinges on the outcome. No news expected
before Monday.
Congratulations to philosopher and polemicist Nick Bardsley on
becoming a member of the ethics committee of the NUJ.
The phone number for organic turkeys is 01524 241 392.
1. EDITORIAL: AT LAST A CREDIBLE LEAGUE TABLE
---------------------------------------------
Sir David Watson, Director (SIC) of Brighton University and as
sceptical as this journal about the 'measurement' of quality,
demonstrated in the Guardian that rankings similar to those of the
Times can be generated much more easily. With only two variables in
fact: take total income from all sources and divide it by the number of
students.
Such data gives a good approximation of The Times ranking of
universities, gets the top ones more or less the same and most of the
remainder to within the nearest 10 places, which is well within the
noise in the system.
Of course, strictly speaking, subject mix, having a medical school for
example, counts for a lot of that, but it is a good reminder that God
and other benefactors are always on the side of the big battalions.
However Watson points out that the same data can be used to provide a
different table.... Some institutions defy its crudity by being more
than 20 places higher than their income per student would predict....
and the topmost of these by a distance is Lancaster, ranked 26 places
above its Watson position.
A moment's thought shows this is even more surprising. For several
years we have spent a significant proportion of the money given to us
to teach students on paying people NOT to teach students (but to retire
instead). This has dramatically reduced some recurrent costs but
increased student-staff ratios.
For once this does seem to have a meaning. We DO make money go
further, we do more for less. A government interested in efficiency
would do well to study us and others like us... Plymouth, Sheffield,
etc.
But of course what it precisely does NOT do is tell you anything at
all about the _quality_ of what we do, any more than any other table
does.
Quality is ultimately a matter of taste. The tables tell us that
Boycott was a better batsman than Botham.... but which would you rather
watch?
2. NEWS
-------
CONGRATULATIONS TO DAVE ROBINSON networking wizard in the Technical
Support division of ISS, who has finally received security clearance
for a senior post with the government security establishment at
Malvern. Dr Robinson, a chartered engineer, has valiantly struggled to
keep our underfunded network running and will be no doubt delighted to
find himself working where money is no object. His departure is yet
another loss to computing where the haemorrhage of recent years has
left vacancies that are hard to fill with the requisite competence at
prevailing university salaries.
CONGRATULATIONS TO ALEX THORLEY of the Academic Registrar's
department, secretary for the associated colleges and kernel of our
embryonic quality control system. He moves in February to be a Faculty
Secretary at Manchester Metropolitan university, which we are assured
is a well-run and well-founded institution where his days will be more
structured. He is replaced as Cartmel Dean by Peter Scullion
(Buildings). He has been extensively involved in preparation for the
upcoming Continuation Audit, and is expected to return for it.
THE SHOCK NEWS OF THE RETIREMENT next spring of the Director of
Estates is causing much speculation within the Resources Division. The
departure of Ernie Phillips, one of our loyalest and longest standing
employees to whom every good wish, had been under discussion at his
request since late summer. The PRCS committee met a week last Friday.
With the non-replacement of Alan Ellis, there is a debate on the nature
and level of replacements that will be required and consequential
internal changes.
EXTRAORDINARY NEWS OF PLANS TO TURN PENN'S into a hallal restaurant.
Its licence has been transferred to The Venue. Two prospective
candidates were recently interviewed for franchise, even though finance
committee and the catering department had thought they had assurances
from Mr McGregor that there had been too much franchising of profitable
activities already and there would be no more. The initiative seems to
have come entirely from Mr Peek and Mr McGregor and is another example
of 'operational' decision making under delegated authority of a type
that sits ill with the collegiality of university decision-making.
Amazingly the Director of Catering doesn't seem to have known about it.
Time to resurrect the Catering Committee perhaps....
THE UNIVERSITY ASSISTANT DEAN issued a letter on Monday reporting her
findings in the vexed case of the harassment of Cartmel Bar staff by
drunken students from County. She had interviewed 18 people including
the alleged offenders, and concluded that the evidence was
contradictory and that a safe conviction could not be obtained.
Nonetheless offence and intimidation had taken place and entirely
unacceptable behaviour is apparently judged to be 'just fun' by some
students. College rivalry is all very well, but enmity is not. Cartmel
Bar Steward has complained to UNISON and the police have been to
advise.
STUDENT UNION OFFICERS and SCAN staff spent much of last Friday
cutting an erroneous article out of the new issue, which again has a
quality and professionalism far above many of its predecessors. Don't
miss the two-minute SCAN on the SU websit as well
AT MONDAY'S MEETING OF THE PUBLIC ARTS COMMITTEE ambitious but
controversial plans for the rearrangement of the Great Hall area were
again discussed. The VC has received a confidential report from
auditing firm UNIAC which he told startled members of the committee was
restricted (though contrary to the rules it is not marked as such).
Perhaps it had best remain restricted, for it has all the qualities we
have come to recognize from previous UNIAC reports, but will no doubt
be used as a management tool where appropriate. Mind-boggling news that
the operational budget for the Peter Scott Gallery this year is... 700
pounds (not a misprint) - a contrast from the money the Library has to
find for the Ruskin Gallery.
YESTERDAY' SENATE AGREED TO CLOSE THE CHEMISTRY SINGLE MAJOR. In the
absence of the chemists representatives, of whom Prof Ebdon spoke most
eloquently last time, Prof McClintock voiced the misgivings of the
physicists who think that science as a whole will be disadvantaged.
Others felt that important areas of chemistry, eg biochemistry, can in
fact be strengthened as a result of the deal.
SENATE ALSO DISCUSSED the proposed charter and statutes revisions at
length buit no decision will be taken on these till the spring. Many
misgivings in the colleges lobby, but equally much vocal opposition to
the significant (18 + ) collegiate representation.
DELICATE NEGOTIATIONS UNDER WAY affecting the future administrative
location of CSEC and the Centre for Science studies. Philosopy is also
involved.
AT THIS WEEK'S NATIONAL CONFERENCE ON FATHERHOOD, Charlie Lewis
(Psychology) is reported by the The Times to have recommended Homer
Simpson as a role model.
NEWS OF THE SUSPENSION OF INDUSTRIAL ACTION may have delighted the
over-cocky employers organisation UCEA but has left the AUT in some
disarray. The executive finds itself vehemently under attack from both
sides and blood-letting is expected at its December conference.
Locally. Maurice Kirby is standing down as president a year early, for
personal and health reasons, and the search is on for a senior
replacement.
PHILIP STAMP, son of the late Professor Stamp of Accountancy fame, was
offered last spring the new "Spinoza chair" in condensed matter physics
at Utrecht. The other Spinoza chair there is G't Hooft (Quantum
Gravity) who just won the Nobel prize.
CONTINUATION AUDIT: Have you looked at the draft for this?
(http://www.lancs.ac.uk/users/acadreg/restricted/contaud/contents.html)
Chapter 4, Communication with internal and external stakeholders,
contains the following paragraph. (Official flattery is the kiss of
death, remarked a Pro-VC.... Not as fulsome as The Guardian, but it's
an improvement on on the guarded remarks in the CRILL report.)
"Lancaster is also unusual in having an electronic news sheet, called
Inkytext, which builds on an earlier staff/student joint publication
called Lancaster Comment. This publication is written, edited and
published by an academic member of staff, giving his own slant on the
news of the moment, as well as publishing readers’ letters: as the
masthead proclaims, it is available worldwide. Inkytext is much valued
by many current and past staff and students, and offers an alternative
and generally more sceptical perspective on characters and events and
developments from the official version. It is effective in being widely
read and stimulating discussion."
EACH YEAR, ALAN WOOD, SENIOR LECTURER IN RUSSIAN HISTORY, organizes an
educational visit to Moscow and St Petersburg. This trip is primarily
intended for students of Russian history, but spare places may be taken
up by any member of the University. At the moment (15 Nov.) there are
five vacant places. Anyone interested in joiningg the group should
contact Dr. Wood (History Department, ext.92604) as soon as possible.
Dates: 20 - 27 February 2000 Destination: Moscow/St Petersburg Cost;
590 pounds including international travel, internal transport, hotels
(half-board), English-speaking guide, excursions to major sites of
historical and cultural interest etc., etc... Moscow? Mustgo!
3. READERS' LETTERS
--------------------
Recent electrical testing has revealed the presence on campus of naked
American pins, which can be shocking when live. During connection with
the transformer unit, the pins were sufficiently exposed to permit
digital contact, which could result in a violent electrical charge.
Exposed live pins of this kind could cause serious injury and a notice
has been served to require retesting of the pins in question once they
have been subject to appropriate modification. In the meantime, they
are not to be used in connection with the power supply, or any other
portable appliance.
[FYI - from the office of yours truly, who would like to remain an
anonymous observer!]
--------------------------------
Re: The Venue. Glad to read that it will be sort-of the decent coffee
bar that the University cries out for. A small and admittedly slightly
obsessive point; while noting with pleasure the prospect of real
teapots, is there any chance that we could have the rare type, the ones
that put the tea in the cup, rather than the more common ones which put
most of it on the table, floor and in your lap?
G Green.
----------------------------
I think I may be the other native speaker of English who was having
coffee with Jessica Abrahams in the Cartmel Bar and I fully endorse her
view of the loudness of the music on the juke box and the impossibility
of having a coherent conversation, the reason one goes for a cup of
coffee with someone in the first place.
I have difficulty also shopping these days, almost everywhere, for the
same reason. Why is everybody expected to like modern pop music played
at all, let alone played at full belt? As the lady in the 'Body Shop'
said to me when I was trying desperately to concentrate on choosing a
shampoo and to read the small print; ' It's company policy. We can't
turn it off' Why, for Heaven's sake? It's a form of pollution - also it
just means that I go elsewhere for my shampoo - or whatever.
R. Anderson
-------------------------
Rory Daly asks whether anybody in University house is ready to stand
up to the bullying tactics and say no?
In an environment where (stupid) decisions are made by closed
committee meetings, and where details are "unfortunately omitted from
the minutes," where there is no obvious accountability of the
management to anyone higher for their decisions, and where tenured
staff are threatened with termination of contract for persistent
complaining, I would say the answer is a very resounding "no"!
I for one admit to wondering if the changes to campus medical
provision are motivated in part by a desire to free up a very
attractive building, set in its own grounds independent of the rest of
campus, for future use by the university's primary concern-
conferences.
Craig Graham
------------------------
The script of The Heiress, a dramatisation of Henry James' Washington
Square, refers to the strains being heard off-stage of 'Chanson de
Fortunio'. Are you or any of your readers familiar with this piece? I
should be very grateful for the melody.
Cliff Wilkinson
[NOTE: Delighted to have been able to tell you, but surprised that in
Gillow House they don't think of answering queries like that with a
quick question to www.altavista.com as I did.... (Ed]
-------------------------------
When I was a lad we built our own bonfire and bought our own fireworks.
Ninety-five percent of these were lit on Nov 5th. Then the ANTIs moved
in, and people switched to communal events. Thus children spread
non-5th firework use to other days. As I write this on the 4th, private
garden celebrations abound. No doubt the participants will be going to
a communal event tomorrow. I am sure this proves something - but I am
not sure what. Possibly, something about myself.
P.S. Glad my Barton Road postulation got George Hayhurst's serotonin
bubbling. Perhaps we need a SagaText.
Michael Jackson (mike-de-hest@talk21.com)
------------------------------
I only wish the 'clever comments' on traffic flow were mine alone - in
fact they are standard facts about traffic flow which have been known
for decades, and they are far from academic, as hundreds of people find
to their and others' cost and injury every day, when they find
themselves impacting a stationary obstruction which theoretically
shouldn't be there.
The attractive teutonic exuberance (minimal speed restrictions away
from congested zones) comes at the cost of some of the worst high speed
accident statistics in Europe.
I worry at our persistent inability (almost unwillingness) to learn
how to cope with the car. I remember the Buchanan Report on Traffic in
Towns being a best seller in the 1960s. Most of its recommendations are
even more obvious now than they were then, and yet they have been
comprehensively ignored.
Never mind - we will all have to be tortoises some day, whether by
planning or gridlock. Meanwhile I commend the simple joys of
deliberately driving a modern car, which is a truly wonderful piece of
engineering, at well below its maximum performance. I find it very
soothing to move around in a little cocoon of lower entropy, and am
pleased to see that I am not alone.
Robin McIlveen
------------------------------
Sue Holden is not the only one who has problems squeezing in her bike.
Not only are there not enough spaces under cover but the quality of the
facilities is poor. When I leave Lancaster I shall be obliged to have
my frame re-sprayed because of the amount of 'rack abrasion' sustained.
I would only be too happy to pay a small annual fee for dry, secure and
guaranteed bicycle parking. I suggest that each college has a permanent
room as residence's bike store, and specialist bikeboxes for those of
us who commute in by bike each day.
Juliet Jain
---------------------------
When trying to borrow a book earlier this week I had my modest request
denied because the library had not been informed that my fellowship
here, which initially lasted until 31 October, had been renewed for
another year. They required a letter from my department as evidence of
this which, since it was by then 1745, I was not able to provide that
day.
Why, when I accepted a renewal of the fellowship, were not all parts
of the university that needed to know informed of this automatically?
This must nowadays be extremely easy to do technically speaking; we
ought no longer to have to deal in paper for this purpose at all. Since
I have gone on using my email address unhindered it would seem that ISS
were informed, and indeed when I was a postgraduate student the library
were - sometimes - informed of extensions to my PhD deadline. The
member of the library staff who today did renew my ticket told me that
there is much they are not informed of. This suggests some systematic
failure in need of reform.
If anybody purports to be responsible for this matter I would be
pleased to hear from them.
Tom Barney
---------------------------
Four of us have just seen Chris Woodhead and his Personal Assistant
climb into a Volvo Estate and depart from a Disabled parking space
outside University House. Unfortunately we didn't have a video camera
with us.
-----------------------
I would have thought that more would be made here of the fact that
Ahdaf Soueif, whose Bloomsbury "The Map of Love" was shortlisted for
the 1999 Booker Prize, is a 1977 recipient of a Lancaster PhD in
Linguistics.
Ashni Singh
[NOTE: Certainly would have made more of it had I known about it! (Ed)]
---------------------
With all the furore about the Nurse Led Unit, and with previous sorry
experiences in mind, I called the Health Centre today at just after 9am
for a Doctor's appointment, expecting one in 5 - 10 days' days' time. I
was very surprised indeed to get one for 5pm the SAME day - even in
vacation time, the number of occasions when that has happened have been
very rare.
Was it a lucky cancellation, I wonder, or has the Health Centre
actually improved its service?
[ANONYMOUS PLEASE]
-----------------------------------
A severe cyclone hit the coastal state of Orissa, one of India's
poorest states, on Friday 29th October, leaving behind a legacy of
utter devastation. Entire villages and a whole city were completely
wiped out as 35-foot waves lashed the coast and headed 20 kilometres
inland, destroying all visible signs of civilisation. The official
death toll mounted to 9,392 so far, the number of lives directly
touched by this tragedy amounts to half of the 20 million inhabitants
of the state of Orissa. No words can be used to portray the calamity
the victims of the tragedy are facing now. There is no food, no
drinking water and no shelter and as the flood-water recedes epidemic
diseases threatens the survivors.
'The India Cyclone Appeal' is a fund raising organisation for the victims of
Orissa, which has been established by a group of students of Lancaster
University. The organisation is going to raise money by hosting a cultural
event and collecting further donations.
The cultural event is going to consist of a buffet meal, followed by a
fashion show, a variety of cultural dances, a live song, and dance
music. This event will take place on Tuesday 30th November, from 7:00
p.m. onwards, at the Great Hall, Lancaster University.
We are hoping to receive further funds by collecting money from the
various gathering places throughout the University. Sponsorships are
also expected to contribute to the funds. In addition, we are setting
up a web page to collect further donations as well as to create
awareness and promote our event.
The money raised from the event and from all donations received will
be presented to the British Red Cross. The funds raised will be used
for the countless families affected by the cyclone in bringing relief
and restoring hope.
'The India Cyclone Appeal' Co-ordination Committee Toshy Bose, Nalini
Cook, Aldonio Ferreira
--------------------------------
Ever heard of the North West Regional Assembly? Thought not. On the
fourth floor of an obscure Coop Business Centre in Wigan, probably the
most depressing town in the world, lurks a man you've never heard of.
His name is Tim Hill, and he is collating responses for the Regional
Planning Guidance report that will probably dump on Lancaster 1200
detached houses to be built between Scotforth and Galgate. Building on
brownfield sites in Lancaster city costs 17.5 % vat plus the cost of
cleaning land poisoned for years by old industries that are no longer
there. (This cost could run into hundreds of thousands.) So natch
builders will prefer greenfield sites, cos they're cheaper to build and
make more profit.
The fact that detached residences will probably have two cars each,
and that 2,400 cars a day driving up and down Scotforth Road will be
utter hell, (in addition to the present hell), is of course neither
here nor there. The builders will not be there to endure it. But we
probably will. Frankly, after a meeting in the Unitarian Church Hall
held by Hilton Dawson and a young man from the Council for the
Protection of Rural England (the sort of organisation Trollope would
have founded!), I have little hope of any adequate protest on a scale
that would influence the industrious place man in Wigan.
All he will do is count up the number of protests he receives. They
will not run into tens of thousands : there were only about a hundred
people there. Once again, Lancaster is busy digging its own hell to
live in. Well, my advice is : pack your bags now. Get out of town and
get the hell away from here. We cannot even imagine what it is going to
be like here in five years time. Thank God we can't! Add to this
development the 'congestion tax' on cars the Labour government is going
to encourage local councils to charge, and we have a perfect example of
why no one in their right mind would want to live here. Perhaps this is
the straw to clutch at : perhaps conditions will be soon be so awful
that after about a dozen houses built, very few will sell, and the
builders will be defeated by the free market forces of oversupply and
no further demand. But are we so powerless? Can nothing effective be
done to stop this madness?
Tony Gilbert
-----------------------------
4. MR MCGREGOR'S GARDEN - Guest Contribution
--------------------------------------------
......to move some lumps of debt. Just as the rabbits were beginning to
see what these lumps were like, Mr McGregor stopped in his tracks. A
smile came over his face and he went back to the shed. He rummaged in
the corner where all the old standing orders had been put and
forgotten.
He pulled out some old sacks. On each of them was printed "RESTRICTED
DOCUMENT". Mr McGregor quickly ran into the garden and put a sack on
each of the lumps.
That isn't fair said Peter, now we can't tell our friends about them,
even if we can find out what they are. " Don't be too sure", said
Mopsy.
I'll tell you a tale about a Heron which went about trying to peck the
eggs of the idea-fish before they could hatch .....
-------------------------------
5. SMALL ADS
------------
CAR FOR SALE: 1989 White, Montego Austin, 80,000 miles, 1994 cc. In
good condition. 500 pounds only. If interested, please contact Esther
on phone: 01524-840986, on e-mail: esther2000@hotmail.com
------------
CHILDREN'S BIKES. Three for sale in all. Nearly new MTB type bike,
vgc, suit 5-7 yo. 30pounds. Decent MTB-type bike, good condition, suit 7-9
yo 30pounds. Charming little bike with carry box and thing on the
handlebars that makes a noise, suit 4-6 yo, 15pounds. Robert Poole Tel
33384 r.poole@ucsm.ac.uk
------------
CAMERA. A Canon Ixus APS camera, super-compact with zoom & flash, with
case, vgc, 70. Excellent camera, the market leader last year. (Reason
for sale: lost, replaced with another, found again). Robert Poole Tel
33384 r.poole@ucsm.ac.uk
----------
ERCOL seat covers, sort of goldy leafy pattern, enough to do a suite
(cushion covers & arm protectors) - details on application. A320.
Robert Poole Tel 33384 r.poole@ucsm.ac.uk
--------
RECUMBENT CYCLE. Vision, comfy seat, underseat steering, converts
between long & short wheelbase, with racks, seat bag & various
improvements, well looked after, 550 pounds ono. (They retail at about
1300). Come and try it! Robert Poole Tel 33384 r.poole@ucsm.ac.uk
----------------
THE LANCASTER PAPERS, no. 4 has just been published:
Paul Aarts, DILEMMAS OF REGIONAL COOPERATION IN THE MIDDLE EAST
Published by the Department of Politics & IR, Lancaster University,
November 1999. 52 pages (A4). 5 Pounds Sterling. Paperback ISBN
1-86220-076-9
A title of related interest:
Ori Golan, ISRAEL TOWARDS 2000: A House of Visions and Divisions
(Lancaster Papers, no. 2) 67 pages (A4). 5 Pounds Sterling. Paperback
ISBN 1-86220-067-X
Available from the Editor, at the address below. Payable by cheque to
"Lancaster University", or international money order. Discount of 10 % on
5-9 copies, 20% on 10 or more.
Dr Gerd Nonneman Reader in International Relations & Middle East
Politics Lancaster University, Lancaster, LA1 4YL [Executive Director,
British Society for Middle Eastern Studies (BRISMES)] Tel.
+44-(0)1524-594277 Fax. 594238
------------------
House and cat-sitting opportunity: Mid-December to early January. Nice
house, close to University. Would suit visiting colleagues or
relations. Shorter stays might be considered. If interested, please
email me. S.Fligelstone@lancaster.ac.uk
-----------------
Wednesday 24th November - 9pm
Cartmel Coffee Bar
Comedy rock and pop with those funsters...
MONKEY BUCKET
playing the last gig of the millennium. Ever. With support from
top Liechtenstein heavy metal outfit, DeTh mOnKEy.
Entrance 2 pounds to university students, staff and bona fide guests
only. Pay at the door or enquire about advance tickets to Baz on x93967
----------------
New but unwanted Sasco Staff Planner. Year 2000, unmounted. At a
glance record for holidays, training etc for up to 40 staff. Covers
Monday to Friday. 915 x 610 mm. Please contact Alison or Alice on ext.
92685 10.00 pounds.
--------
Wanted: a pool of Fellow commuters/drivers willing to share journey
Daily travel; Varying times. Travelling from Caton? If you would like
to share the journeys to and from work then drop me a line on
b.theunissen-hughes@lancaster.ac.uk so we can discuss times and days
that are mutually convenient.
------
Hi! My name is Joan Amer and I am a postgraduate student, I have been
told that through Inkytext I am able to advertise. I am moving
off-campus but I have to find somebody (living off-campus) who wants to
live on-campus. My advertise to be sent by e-mail is: SPARE ROOM IN
GRADUATE COLLEGE!! JUST CALL! (01524 5)55260 (Joan)
---------