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INKYTEXT 298
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Issue No 298 Friday 27 May 1999
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Editorial correspondence should be sent to InkyText@lancaster.ac.uk
Subscription requests to Inkytext-distribution-request@lists.lancaster.ac.uk
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NO MORE ADS PRO TEM PLEASE
The entire editorial and production human resource will be away
on a works outing to the south of France for a couple of days next
week, a managerial practice heartily commended to all personnel
departments everywhere. Unfortunately it creates a permanent danger
that mailboxes will overflow and cause thought pollution.
AGENDA
Minutes, Amendments, Matters arising
1. Editorial: How do we account for accountants?
2. News: AUT, Women Professors, Deputy VC, Tim Farron, Senate.
3. Kosovo Appeal for Educational Aid
4. Naturism: a press release from Morecambe Bay Naturist Club
5. Small Ads: County College 30th Anniversary, Houses, Flats, Room, Washing
Machine, Car, Child's Bike, Brother word-processor, Lawnmower, Accom Wanted
Family Dancing Day for Children and Parents.
6. Readers' Letters: Maurice Kirby, Nick Bardsley, John Whitelegg, Lou Armour,
Dave Boyle, George Green, Gwen Ainsworth.
MINUTES, AMENDMENTS, MATTERS ARISING
------------------------------------
A READER OF RARE GRAMMATICAL RECTITUDE points out that the
construction 'either... or...' admits of no further alternative. True,
but that was before Pataphysics. Today we cope with the third and later
alternatives as easily as with the third half or effects preceding
their causes.
THE CONFERENCE JOB AD did appear in the Personnel pages, but not in
the index at the top.
YOU RECALL NOSTRADAMUS'S PROPHECIES of fire, plague, and pestilence to
celebrate the millennium, with Mars and Mongol hordes thundering in
from the east in July in time for the August eclipse. With India and
Pakistan now joining in, these seem well on course and bang on
schedule.
1. EDITORIAL: HOW DO WE ACCOUNT FOR ACCOUNTANTS?
------------------------------------------------
Hurry up, June, you can't come too soon. The height of the marking
season sees us Stakhanovite face-workers toiling and broiling in the
essay-marking pits.
Summer, season of strawberries and exams, season of irrelevance,
cliche, misunderstanding, allegations masquerading as fact, unsupported
assertions, incoherent and inconclusive argument, pretentious
waffle.... and that's only in the Corporate Plan and government
military strategy. Student exam answers are misspelt as well.
The VC's somber to Senate statement on budgetary problems, highlighted
a 900K budget gap for next year, despite our recent 1m pound windfall,
with ever greater deficits thereafter.
The problem is that, outside of Gillow House (aka the Management
School), scholars are prone to forget that accountancy is not an exact
science. Accountants produce an analysis of accounts, present a report,
an interpretation, what database specialists call a 'view'. Preferably
a view that suits their employers - that's why we pay them so much. The
rest is just old-fashioned book-keeping: now rather less well-paid or
abandoned to machines.
As in criticism, some views may clearly be more valued than others.
They remain merely one way of looking at things. When the Dean of
Research emphatically assured Senate that we must reduce our subject
base in order to ensure adequate finance for the strong he _may_ have
been right, but contrary to what he appeared to imagine, the argument
has nothing much to do with money.
Prof Diggle is an honest statistician fallen among accountants.
Superficially, numbers might seem to be something statisticians and
accountants have in common. Not so - the two kinds of number are
different in nature; they simply don't add up the same way.
Indeed, if we _really_ had only just discovered a deficit for next
year that would be 1.9m without our windfall (which, you recall, we had
not included in projections before it arrived), it would again be time
for heads to roll.
The fact remains however that the deficits being spoken of are
EXCLUSIVELY of our own making - self-imposed by the Finance Committee,
Mr McGregor and Council. They result from the decision to seek a 5
percent annual surplus for the foreseeable future, and to return at
impossible speed to the kind of assets-liabilities ratio claimed
(controversially) to be the norm for the sector.
All this despite Lancaster's unique and equally self-imposed burdens:
paying staff to retire with monies intended to be used to pay them to
teach, paying interest on a 35m loan at twice the going mortgage rate,
etc.
When these financial targets first appeared, you were informed here
that this journal's City experts, hitherto flawless in their advice and
forecasts over 7 years, described them as unrealistic and unattainable,
doomed to destroy the quality of our community in its present form.
It lies within the power of Council and Finance to lower our (their!)
annual surplus target to 3.75 percent, and to lengthen by a few years
the period over which we realise a more normal asset-liability ratio.
Do so and the greater part of the current alleged problem disappears.
Mr McGregor assured Senate that if we did so we would lose all
credibility. The question is WHO exactly would lose credibility?
In whose eyes? And why should it matter?
2. NEWS
-------
THE LAUT EXECUTIVE met on Wednesday at 4.00 to discuss the strike and
proposals for further action. Happily Senate finished at 4.20 rather
than 7.00 as some had been expecting, hence the president was able to
attend. Another general meeting is to be called next week on a day when
Brian Everett will be available to attend. The Director of Personnel
informed the exec that strikers' salary deduction would be 1/365th.
LANCASTER CAME 60TH IN 1997-98 out of 75 English and Welsh
universities in a table published in today's Higher showing the
proportion of professors who are female (5.9 percent). Down from 55th
the previous year. Happily this table is one not yet used as a
performance indicator for funding purposes. Views no doubt differ on
whether it should be.
A NOTABLE ABSENTEE from Senate was the Deputy VC, whose movements are
being followed with interest in a few quarters.
TIM FARRON, University Administrator and superstar six-a-side
goalkeeper is third on the North West region Liberal Democrat list for
the Euro-elections and has an outside chance of being elected.
SENATE REPORT: The VC's gloomy announcement on the budget gap (say yet
another 30 - 40 academic posts) coloured the whole of Wednesday's
Senate. It made discussion of the Corp Plan redundant, and members
agreed that they couldn't possibly commend the latter to Council when
it still contained so many uncertainties. It will still be used to beat
us around the head with, no doubt.
The controversial hiving-off of Communications Engineering into a
separate department was agreed, mainly on the grounds that it would
help recruitment in the Engineering area. Not all were or are
convinced by the reasoning or the result.
Star of the afternoon was once again Prof Shepherd, who greatly
entertained an audience badly in need of it. A man renowned for
ferocious loyalty to his own, this time he was fighting (we hope
victoriously) on behalf his latest baby, HEDEC. It remains true that
the ghastly QAA will not look at whether we have thrown money at HEDC
but whether our quality activities are effective... Not at all the
same thing.
With this and cafes etc, commented one member, we certainly seem to
have money to play with. But at whose expense? Departments of course.
3. KOSOVA APPEAL FOR EDUCATIONAL AID
------------------------------------
An appeal from Workers' Aid for Kosova, Unit 26, 41 Old Birley St,
Manchester M15 5RS. [NB: If anyone local is able to coordinate this
kind of stuff please say. (Ed.)]
Two Workers' Aid for Kosova relief convoys are going to Albania on 20
June and 20 July. The main education and cultural union of Kosova has
appealed to all educational workers in Europe to assist them in
providing basic educational materials for 200 000 refugees of school
age now in Albania. University teachers are in a unique position to
help, particularly when they are taking industrial action.
Now is the time to clear out your desk and filing cabinet. And to get
your children to do the same. You never know what useful items you may
find.
Every university has someone responsible for disposing of equipment
surplus to requirements. Find out who that is and ask them to divert
such stock to Workers' Aid for Kosova instead of to a skip. Think how
much that will mean to 200 000 Kosova school-age refugees.
Especially requested: Biros and roller balls, pencils, felt tips,
paints, notebooks, pads, drawing paper, pencil sharpeners, ring
binders, calculators, blackboards or white boards, chalk, erasers,
games, sports equipment, musical instruments, school bags, atlases,
office equipment. No books please.
Try to pool materials and please box it. Contact Workers' Aid for Kosova
for details of transferring donations to the convoys - phone 0161-232-9998
email workersaid@yahoo.com
An appeal for staff and trained counsellors has been made by the
Kosovan Union of Education, Science and Culture and the Independent
Trade Union of Education. Write to Qemal Stafa, Nr 266, Tirana Albania,
or phone 00 355 42 283 26695. Donations can also be made to the union
bank account: SBASHK, Ac. 21620 -04 - 0169, Dardania Bank, Tirana,
Albania.
4. NATURISM: A PRESS RELEASE FROM MORECAMBE BAY NATURIST CLUB
-------------------------------------------------------------
Get a life, get your clothes off -sample NATURISM!
Morecambe Bay Naturist Club are offering YOU the opportunity to try
naturism at a number of special events starting soon. For full details
simply call the club on (015242) 51672 if you dare.
Do YOU know what NATURISM is? You may think you do, but if you haven't
actually tried it, you may have got the wrong idea altogether. Let us
explain...
Naturism is about freedom. Freedom to be who you really are, free from
stress, status, status symbols and the many material things which serve
to divide us. Freedom to relax in a friendly and safe environment among
friends.
Being naked is only a small part of naturism, above all else it is an
incredibly sociable, simple and safe actvity free from the pressures of
modern life. Where people of all ages and from all backgrounds meet
and relax in complete equality, where no one is judged and everyone is
accepted for who you are.
Naturists are a simple and friendly bunch who enjoy the natural world.
Naturism appeals particularly to couples and families for whom the
various activities offer a welcome break from the trails and
tribulations of everyday life.
When we wear clothes appearance seems to matter so much, yet when we
wear nothing and walk around naked, appearance does not matter at all.
Naturists are normal people who come in all shapes and sizes, some may
have scars from an operation or accident, others may have a disability,
but no one really notices and all are equally welcome.
Yes of course people look at you, but not in a judgmental or sexual
way and by the time you have been a couple of times being naked is so
natural you won't want to dress again.
It really is a great life, so why not find out what you have been
missing and give it a try, you have nothing to lose-except your
inhibitions.
Why not join your local Naturist Club? At Morecambe Bay Naturist Club
we strive to maintain a friendly atmosphere in which couples and
families of all ages and backgrounds can meet and socialise in relaxed
and informal surroundings where you can forget all your worries and
recharge your batteries ready for another day. Single male or female
members are welcome. New members are always very welcome.
An active social life-if you want it! We organise a number of social
events every year and meet every other Tuesday evening for a
swim/sauna. Many members get together in the bar afterwards for a drink
or a bite to eat and have a friendly chat.
Get away from it all, at our sanctuary! Silverglades is a natural
woodland site extending to some 4 hectares in beautiful limestone
country. Home to many species of birds, animals and plants it is a
haven with basic human facilities where members can enjoy the
tranquillity of the natural world beneath the high canopy, amidst
grassy clearings and woodland walks in good company. It is an ideal
place to lie in the sun, while the more active can take advantage of a
range of quiet recreational and sporting activities.
We are always looking out for new places to visit. If you have a site,
whether indoors or outside, where people can practice quiet recreation,
sporting, leisure activities without the need to wear clothes, we will
be very pleased to hear from you.
For futher information, with no obligation call (015242) 51672.
Morecambe Bay Naturist Club is a member of the Cental Council for
British Naturism and is registered under the Data Protection Act.
5. SMALL ADS
------------
COUNTY COLLEGE 30TH ANNIVERSARY
This being the 30th anniversary year of the opening of County's main
building, the College will be celebrating with a dinner on the 3rd
July, to take place in a marquee on County Field. Already more than 100
tickets have been sold to graduates from across the years since 1969 -
judging by the number of enquiries received, the College confidently
expects to sell many more before the day.
The dinner will be followed by dancing in the quad, to Captain Rhino
and the Bighorns (vocals by Nikki Davies, County graduate 1998) and DJ
Andy Hoskins (County graduate 1993). (We are already praying for fine
weather.)
Tickets for this glittering occasion are available either from the
College Office, email p.a.corless @lancaster.ac.uk/phone (5)92562
Tuesdays, Wednesday afternoons or Fridays; or from Martin Widden, email
m.widden@lancaster.ac.uk/phone (5)93017.
--------------
FOR SALE: VAUXHALL NOVA 1.2 Merit. F-reg, 3 door hatch, sunroof,
unleaded fuel, radio, MOT till November, 12 months tax, 101k miles
(mainly motorway), excellent condition : 900 GBP ono. For more details
tel: 01524 849156.
---------------
ROOM TO RENT: Shared house in Freehold area (close to city centre).
All mod cons. (including GCH and double glazing). Non-smoker. 45 pounds
per week plus bills (electricity, gas, phone). For more details tel:
01524 849156.
----------------
FOR SALE: WEBB 18" ROTARY ELECTRIC LAWNMOWER. With grass collection
box, forward and reverse gears. Good working condition. Needs
flex-lead, hence 20 pounds. For more details phone:01524 770771
------------
WANTED RENTAL ACCOMMODATION: A visiting academic in Engineering on a
Commonwealth Fellowship seeks a 2-bedroom furnished accommodation close
to the campus and on the campus bus routes. Must be suitable for
couple plus 8 year old. Requires a lease for 6 months from 1 Sept
1999. Please reply to a.peyton@lancaster.ac.uk or phone:(5)93053
-----------
FOR RENT IN GALGATE. One bedroom, SC flat, part furnished, gas CH, off
road parking. Bond required. 300 pounds per month. Tel (01524) 751872.
---------------
FLAT AVAILABLE ON CAMPUS from June 1st onwards. Located in Lonsdale.
Big dining-room with kitchen corner. Bedroom with double bed. Private
bathroom and toilet for 273,20 pounds a month. Please contact Guillaume
for further details on xt : (01524) 593411 or g.lambert@lancaster.ac.uk
----------------
HOUSE FOR SALE: Newlands Avenue (South Lancaster) 3 bed semi-detached
house, sep. lounge and dining room. Modern kitchen with integral fridge
and cooker. South Lancaster, close to University and on the bus and
cycle routes. 80 ft garden, c.h. and d.g. Price: 59,950 pounds. Tel
Brian on 65212.
-----------------
FOR SALE: ZANUSSI WASHINE MACHINE; slightly over 1 year old; 1000 rpm
(spin speed); available immediately. 170 pounds, negotiable. Contact
54071 (calling from on campus) or 554071 (off-campus) or email:
s.awab@lancaster.ac.uk
-------------
FOR SALE: CHILD'S BIKE - Trek Mountain Lion 60 - 100 pounds.
Superior child's bike, suitable for boy or girl it handles beautifully.
The Gripshift twistshifter is easy for children to use and together
with excellent brakes ensure that the bike (and parental stress levels)
remain under control. . Lightweight steel frame with CrMo seat tube.
Stand-over Height 22" Wheels: 20" Weinmann alloy rims, knobbly 20x1.95"
tyres. Transmission: 6 - speed MRX-170 Gripshift. Shimano Tourney rear
gear with derailleur guard. Shimano HG 14-28 freewheel. Brakes: Shimano
alloy cantilever with adjustable levers for smaller hands. Handlebars:
Steel ATB Saddle: Trek Colour: Red
The bike is in very good condition, one careful owner, ideal for a
young member of a cycling family. Price: 100 pounds. Haydn Morris
X93466 or email h.morris@lancaster.ac.uk
-----------
HOUSE FOR SALE 5 bedroomed house with two reception rooms, study etc.
within easy reach of the university, schools and city. ?139, 950 Contact
E J Dunn tel (01524) 63668 or Susan Bridges, Estate Agent Tel (01524)
68811 & Fax (01524) 844277
---------------
TO LET 3 rooms on top floor of house in central Lancaster either as
two bedsits plus kitchen or as flat. Central heating, garden. 35 p.w.
for bedsit, 70 p.w. for flat INCLUDING BILLS. Contact Pat Rye
Tel.653561 or 843571.
--------------------
FOR SALE: BROTHER WORD PROCESSOR LW700ic, ?120.00. For further deails
please contact Sandra Jacques on ext. 92700, email address:
s.jacques@lancaster.ac.uk.
-------------------
Family Dancing Day
English and African Dance for kids age 4 - 10
and their families
On Sunday 13th June, join Raymond Otto from South Africa (S.African
dance), Fiona Frank from Lancaster (English Ceilidh Dance), and Helen
Duncan from the Cuan School of Irish Dance in Carnforth (Irish step
dancing) for a FAMILY DANCING DAY at the Gregson, from 10 - 4.30. All
dances explained, people with two left feet welcome. Kids 9.00 (5.00
low waged families), parents free. Veggie lunch available if ordered in
advance. Register in advance please, email details to
f.frank@lancaster.ac.uk or leave your address on Lancaster 381263
(answerphone) and we'll send you a form.
-----------
6. READERS' LETTERS
-------------------
I must defend my proposition that international law is, currently, an
illusion with no substantial practical force. This is very different
from saying that the very idea of international law per se is
impractical. Nor is my view inspired specifically by the current
situation.
I agree that the present disaster is due more to political failure
than the failure of any legal system. But law is always dependent on
politics for its sustenance. No legal system can withstand the
application of political power by a group willing and able to bypass or
overthrow it.
The present political system simply refuses to countenance a framework
of international law that works. I believe that this is a function of
the system, not simply the personalities operating the system.
I agree that norms should be seen as a guide to civilised conduct.
But the norms in question are broadly aimed at guiding, not
individuals, but states, their governments, and their agents. And the
peculiarity is that it is these very states, governments and agents who
are not only called upon to subscribe to a particular normative system
but also, and this is key, to enforce it.
The analogy offered by Professor Picciotto therefore requires a little
adjustment: in the present and proposed world orders, when your bicycle
is stolen you would be justified in assuming that it is missing
precisely because the police _have_ been on the scene...
Only when the majority of states move to government by democracy of
the 'by-the-people' variety (rather than the 'for-the-people' kind
espoused by our masters), will international law have any chance at
all.
Nick Bardsley
-----------------------------------
I had hoped by now that your impeccable sources of intelligence would
have elaborated on the 'personal statement' that I made at last week's
LAUT General Meeting.
I made it perfectly clear then that I wanted the exams to go ahead on
Tuesday 25th in the knowledge that they could not be rescheduled. I
also indicated that I had thought about the possibility of providing
LAUT members involved in invigilation and student support to be given a
dispensation to pass through the picket line. Reluctantly, I ruled that
out on grounds of impracticality. So the issue for LAUT was 'to picket
or not to picket'.
The local exec decided to support the national day of action. I think
that we were honour bound to do that in support of other local
associations. I myself was on picket duty at the main entrance to the
campus from 8.30 to 10.30. The only thing I was looking forward to was
trying to ensure that good humour and courtesy were maintained on all
sides.
LAUT will need to deliberate on its response to the further action
proposed by AUT nationally in relation to the disruption of exam boards
and the admissions process. In my personal statement I indicated that
my primary concern was for the welfare of students, both current and
prospective.
Maurice Kirby
LAUT President
-------------------------------------
Re: Euro Elections. The ballot paper has a space for one cross. After
counting all preferences, there are 2 ways of explaining how the system
works:
Method 1 (exactly the same result as method 2 - just a different way of
explaining it)
Take the vote for the party in the region.
Divide it by 1, then by 2 and so on until you've divided by the number
of seats on offer (in the NW, there's 10)
The 10 biggest numbers are 'elected' - with each number corresponding
with the name of the candidate on the list at that point (in this
example, the fifth Labour number qualifies, so the fifth person on the
list is elected.
Labour Vote Tory Vote Lib Dem Vote Green Vote Other vote
500000 350000 150000 75000 50000
Divisor
1 500000* 350000* 150000* 75000 50000
2 250000* 175000* 75000 37500 25000
3 166666* 116666* 50000 25000 16666
4 125000* 87500* 37500 18750 12500
5 100000* 70000 30000 15000 10000
6 83333 58333 25000 12500 8333
7 71428 50000 21428 10714 7142
8 62500 43750 18750 9375 6250
9 55555 38888 16666 8333 5555
10 50000 35000 15000 7500 5000
* - elected
Method 2 (Government explanation)
Take the vote for the party in the region
Divide it by 1. The biggest number is 'elected', and that corresponds
with the first name on that party's list.
Then divide them all by 1 again except the party who came first, where it
is divided by 2.
Divide the first party by 2, the second party by 2 and all others by
1. You keep going, dividing the total vote by the number of candidates
elected for that party so far +1 (0 candidates 3D keep dividing by 1)
Labour Vote Tory Vote Lib Dem Vote Green Vote Other vote
500000 350000 150000 75000 50000
Stage 1
1 500000* 350000 150000 75000 50000
2 250000 350000* 150000 75000 50000
3 250000* 175000 150000 75000 50000
4 166666 175000* 150000 75000 50000
5 166666* 116666 150000 75000 50000
6 125000 116666 150000* 75000 50000
7 125000* 116666 75000 75000 50000
8 100000 116667* 75000 75000 50000
9 100000* 87500 75000 75000 50000
10 83333 87500* 75000 75000 50000
* - elected
For the seriously interested, the system chosen is the de Hondt system
(unmodified). There are lots of exceedingly dry books about how it
works and the vagaries of the results it produces. They are best
avoided. The major reason for the choice is that it is a method of PR
that allows only 1 vote (thus preserving some continuity with other UK
elections) and also a method of PR that is less favourable to minor
parties.
Dave Boyle
--------------------------------------
In response to Andrew Jameson's query about the way the Euro elections
will be run I can offer the following. Voters will have one vote only
and that is for the party of their choice. The instructions will make
it clear (I hope) that one mark only is to be put on the ballot paper
and that mark goes in the box adjacent to the party name.
Underneath the party name will be a list of candidates (maximum 10) in
the rank order in which they will be elected. So under the heading
"Green Party" will be 10 names and I am "Number 1". Time doesn't permit
a discussion of what is wrong with this system. What is "right" about
it is that it is PR. If 9% of those who turn out on June 10th vote
green then I am elected. For the record the following parties are
standing in the NW:
British National Party (10)
Conservative Party (10)
Green Party (10)
Labour Party (10)
Liberal Democrat Party (10)
Liberal party (10)
Natural law party (10)
Pro Euro Conservative Party (10)
Socialist labour Party (10)
UK Independence Party (10)
Weekly Worker (8)
Independent Anti corruption pro family Christian alliance (1)
Independent-English independent humanist party (1)
John Whitelegg
------------------------------------
Regarding your comment on "SEARCH COMMITTEES;............ This is at
vcariance with college constitutions which have not been changed."
Could this be an Inkyfreudian misprint?
Gwen Ainsworth
--------------------------
About the taxi driver whose vehicle 'brushed past Lonsdale principal
Bob Neal, breaking his wing-mirror in the process'. We were concerned
to read the above. Can we be assured that Mr Neal's wing mirrors are
now fully restored?
George Green
Independent Studies
-----------------------------
The following incident and those like it have probably got nothing at
all to do with staff departures but can anybody confirm or deny a story
which has filtered its way into deepest Wiltshire.
It has been doing the rounds that certain members of staff have
objected to the description 'Sociology 205(?) Industrial Society' on
the grounds that the word 'Industrial' is male-centred, patriarchal and
excludes women from applying for lectureships in that subject. How has
this come about? Rumour has it that few, if any women applied for the
'Industrial Society' lectureship although many more applied for the
'Media something-or-other' post (surprise!!).
If even remotely true it demonstrates yet again the kind of simplistic
(note the craving for 'explanations' and the assumption of 'causes' and
'influences' beloved of this kind of 'social scientific' thinking) not
to say hypocritical arguments frequently put forward in order to secure
jobs-for-the-girls - Let's not be fooled into thinking that what is
really going on is some greater or more noble purpose.
So have the lunatics finally taken over the asylum? I think next years
A - level students should be told.
Lou Armour
P/S: My use of (surprise!!) merely applies the same kind of reasoning:
Women apply for lectureships in Media Studies because it's
touchy-feelly, woolly, soap opera, day-time TV, encode-decode, romance
novel, girlie stuff. And it's ****.
TIME TO ESCAPE I THINK